ALL STRESSED UP AND NO PLACE TO BLOW
All stressed up and no place to blow. Does that sometimes sound like you?It is rarely the big crises of life that cause us destructive worry. Rather, those persistent small concerns do the most long-term damage to our spirits, minds and bodies.
According to Bernard Asbell and Karen Wynn in the book WHAT THEY KNOW ABOUT YOU (Random House, 1991) here are the top ten reasons middle-aged people worry:
1. Concern about weight
2. Health of a family member
3. Rising prices
4. House maintenance
5. Too much to do
6. Misplacing or losing things
7. Outside or yard maintenance
8. Property, investments, and taxes
9. Crime
10. Physical appearance
How many times do you find yourself on this list? Yet, none of these is a huge problem. It's true.you don't get ulcers from what you eat --you get them from what's eating you! I asked a woman who was facing some truly large problems, "Can you just get through today?" I felt there was no other course of action for her than to concentrate on managing only the concerns of the present. Anything more seemed overwhelming. She said, "I always take just one day at a time. And sometimes I take one hour at a time. And sometimes it's one minute!"
If worry and anxiety are getting the best of you, first take steps to manage the problem, fix the problem or get rid of the problem. Then, you need only look ahead to the end of the day. Can you get through this day? This hour? If so, that may be enough. It was the Buddha who said, "The secret of health for both mind and body is not to mourn for the past, not to worry about the future, or not to anticipate troubles, but to live the present moment wisely and earnestly."
And Jesus said, "Do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself." It's about learning to live one day at a time. And it's great advice... particularly when you are all stressed up and no place to blow.
-- Steve Goodier
Thursday, September 13, 2007
Wednesday, August 22, 2007
EVERYTHING CAN BE DIFFERENT
"Arizona Highways" magazine once reported a funny sign spotted at the Road Runner Market in Quartzsite, Arizona. A sign on the counter read: "Your patience is appreciated. New electronic cash register. Same old ladies."
Apparently, the business machines were changing faster than the clerks! Which isn't to say that people can't change. They can. Infact, our greatest hope is birthed from knowing that we CAN change. We don't have to remain the same. Things can be different than they are. Nobody can change your life. It is something only you can do. New and beautiful things await those who believe that things can be different.
I've known relationships to dramatically improve once the couple learned this simple axiom: "You can't change your partner; but your partner can change." We change because we want to and because we believe we can. There is great hope in that.
The unhappiest people change the least. They are not convinced they can start over! They often believe that they cannot truly be different and must continue leading unhappy lives forever. They should learn from snakes.... Snakes know about shedding the past and putting on something new. Old ways, old habits, old ideas and old attitudes don't fit forever. Once outgrown, we can shed them and grow into a new skin. (Ever thought you'd be learning a life lesson from a snake?)
Everything will be different when you are different. It begins with two indispensable ingredients - desire and belief. Those who WANT to shed the old skin and who BELIEVE they can, will make needed changes.And they will be happy.
-- Steve Goodier
Apparently, the business machines were changing faster than the clerks! Which isn't to say that people can't change. They can. Infact, our greatest hope is birthed from knowing that we CAN change. We don't have to remain the same. Things can be different than they are. Nobody can change your life. It is something only you can do. New and beautiful things await those who believe that things can be different.
I've known relationships to dramatically improve once the couple learned this simple axiom: "You can't change your partner; but your partner can change." We change because we want to and because we believe we can. There is great hope in that.
The unhappiest people change the least. They are not convinced they can start over! They often believe that they cannot truly be different and must continue leading unhappy lives forever. They should learn from snakes.... Snakes know about shedding the past and putting on something new. Old ways, old habits, old ideas and old attitudes don't fit forever. Once outgrown, we can shed them and grow into a new skin. (Ever thought you'd be learning a life lesson from a snake?)
Everything will be different when you are different. It begins with two indispensable ingredients - desire and belief. Those who WANT to shed the old skin and who BELIEVE they can, will make needed changes.And they will be happy.
-- Steve Goodier
Thursday, August 9, 2007
WORRY - THE REAL ENEMY
What does it mean to worry? The Latin concept of worry describes a turbulent force within a person. Worry is a heart and mind in turmoil. The ancient Greeks thought of worry as something that tears a person in two and drags that person in opposite directions. It is like opposing forces in deadly conflict within the very being of the individual.
The word "worry" itself comes from an old Anglo-Saxon term meaning to choke, or strangle, and that is exactly what it does - it chokes the joy of living wage right out of its victim. And it chokes off the energy to improve one's condition. There is a place for healthy concern, but too often our concern turns into fearful worry. And worry, more than the problem, becomes our real enemy.
Some people have worried for so long that they have become good at it. Just as we can become good at any attitude or behavior if we practice it enough, we can also become good at worrying. Worry is habit - a habitual response to life's problems. I rather like the attitude of the late United Methodist Bishop Welch. When he reached the age of 101, he was asked if he didn't think a lot about dying. With a twinkle in his eye, he replied, "Not at all! When was the last time you heard of a Methodist bishop dying at 101?" Maybe one reason for his longevity is that he never developed the habit of worry.
Next time you feel yourself worrying, be like the frogs - they eat what bugs them. Decide to no longer practice needless worry and instead practice peace. Replace your habit of fearful worry with the habit of courageous action. As Harvey Mackey has said, "Good habits are as addictive as bad habits and a lot more rewarding." Practice joy. Practice faith. And practice courage. Soon your life will be too rich and full for worry.
-- Steve Goodier
The word "worry" itself comes from an old Anglo-Saxon term meaning to choke, or strangle, and that is exactly what it does - it chokes the joy of living wage right out of its victim. And it chokes off the energy to improve one's condition. There is a place for healthy concern, but too often our concern turns into fearful worry. And worry, more than the problem, becomes our real enemy.
Some people have worried for so long that they have become good at it. Just as we can become good at any attitude or behavior if we practice it enough, we can also become good at worrying. Worry is habit - a habitual response to life's problems. I rather like the attitude of the late United Methodist Bishop Welch. When he reached the age of 101, he was asked if he didn't think a lot about dying. With a twinkle in his eye, he replied, "Not at all! When was the last time you heard of a Methodist bishop dying at 101?" Maybe one reason for his longevity is that he never developed the habit of worry.
Next time you feel yourself worrying, be like the frogs - they eat what bugs them. Decide to no longer practice needless worry and instead practice peace. Replace your habit of fearful worry with the habit of courageous action. As Harvey Mackey has said, "Good habits are as addictive as bad habits and a lot more rewarding." Practice joy. Practice faith. And practice courage. Soon your life will be too rich and full for worry.
-- Steve Goodier
HANG ON TO EACH OTHER
Too often we feel alone. But there is always someone ready to take our hand. There is a beautiful story of an overworked nurse who escorted a tired, young man to her patient's bedside. Leaning over and speaking loudly to the elderly patient, she said, "Your son is here."
With great effort, his unfocussed eyes opened, then flickered shut again. The young man squeezed the aged hand in his and sat beside the bed. Throughout the night he sat there, holding the old man's hand and whispering words of comfort. By morning's light, the patient had died. In moments, hospital staffs warmed into the room to turn off machines and remove needles.
The nurse stepped over to the young man's side and began to offer sympathy, but he interrupted her. "Who was that man?" he asked. The startled nurse replied, "I thought he was your father!" "No, he was not my father," he answered. "I never saw him before in my life." "Then why didn't you say something when I took you to him?" "I realized he needed his son and his son wasn't here," the man explained. "And since he was too sick to recognize that I was not his son, I knew he needed me."
Mother Teresa used to remind us that nobody should have to die alone. Likewise, nobody should have to grieve alone or cry alone either. Or laugh alone or celebrate alone. We are made to travel life's journey hand in hand. There is someone ready to grasp your hand today. And someone hoping you will take theirs.
-- Steve Goodier
With great effort, his unfocussed eyes opened, then flickered shut again. The young man squeezed the aged hand in his and sat beside the bed. Throughout the night he sat there, holding the old man's hand and whispering words of comfort. By morning's light, the patient had died. In moments, hospital staffs warmed into the room to turn off machines and remove needles.
The nurse stepped over to the young man's side and began to offer sympathy, but he interrupted her. "Who was that man?" he asked. The startled nurse replied, "I thought he was your father!" "No, he was not my father," he answered. "I never saw him before in my life." "Then why didn't you say something when I took you to him?" "I realized he needed his son and his son wasn't here," the man explained. "And since he was too sick to recognize that I was not his son, I knew he needed me."
Mother Teresa used to remind us that nobody should have to die alone. Likewise, nobody should have to grieve alone or cry alone either. Or laugh alone or celebrate alone. We are made to travel life's journey hand in hand. There is someone ready to grasp your hand today. And someone hoping you will take theirs.
-- Steve Goodier
Monday, July 30, 2007
THE POWER TO REALLY LIVE
I had just graduated from college and was about to move away to attend graduate school. An older friend said something to me I thought was odd at the time. She cautioned, "Don't ever lose your enthusiasm." I was not particularly aware that I had much enthusiasm, nor was I sure how to keep from losing it. But since that time, I have come to realize what she meant.
Over the years, I have been assailed by discouragement and difficulties. At times I have felt totally without energy and even disenchanted with life around me. I like what Mark Twain said about enthusiasm. When asked the reason for his success, he replied, "I was born excited." I think I now know why my friend said, "Never lose your enthusiasm." For even if one is born excited, enthusiasm can be lost along the way. And too many of us never find it again. However, the happiest, most fulfilled and most successful people have discovered the necessity of an enthusiastic approach to living.
Thomas Edison was such a person. He was known for his energy and verve. He eventually acquired 1,093 patents for his inventions, including the electric light bulb, phonograph and motion picture camera. He was known to work tirelessly and joyfully. He seemed to love what he did and pursued it with passion. Edison eventually established Menlo Park, the first factory ever dedicated to making nothing but inventions. It was a forerunner of the private research laboratories now owned by many large corporations. Edison promised that Menlo Park would turn out a minor invention every ten days and something big every six months or so. At one point, he was working on 47 new projects at once! Others have made more money than Thomas Edison, but none have been more enthusiastic or productive.
Ralph Waldo Emerson once said, "Enthusiasm is one of the most powerful engines of success. When you do a thing, do it with your might. Put your whole soul into it. Stamp it with your own personality. Be active, be energetic, be enthusiastic and faithful, and you will accomplish your object." Enthusiasm is an engine fueled by a love for what we do. It will power us anywhere we want to go and take us places we would never reach without it!--
From Steve Goodier's book
PRESCRIPTION FOR PEACE
Over the years, I have been assailed by discouragement and difficulties. At times I have felt totally without energy and even disenchanted with life around me. I like what Mark Twain said about enthusiasm. When asked the reason for his success, he replied, "I was born excited." I think I now know why my friend said, "Never lose your enthusiasm." For even if one is born excited, enthusiasm can be lost along the way. And too many of us never find it again. However, the happiest, most fulfilled and most successful people have discovered the necessity of an enthusiastic approach to living.
Thomas Edison was such a person. He was known for his energy and verve. He eventually acquired 1,093 patents for his inventions, including the electric light bulb, phonograph and motion picture camera. He was known to work tirelessly and joyfully. He seemed to love what he did and pursued it with passion. Edison eventually established Menlo Park, the first factory ever dedicated to making nothing but inventions. It was a forerunner of the private research laboratories now owned by many large corporations. Edison promised that Menlo Park would turn out a minor invention every ten days and something big every six months or so. At one point, he was working on 47 new projects at once! Others have made more money than Thomas Edison, but none have been more enthusiastic or productive.
Ralph Waldo Emerson once said, "Enthusiasm is one of the most powerful engines of success. When you do a thing, do it with your might. Put your whole soul into it. Stamp it with your own personality. Be active, be energetic, be enthusiastic and faithful, and you will accomplish your object." Enthusiasm is an engine fueled by a love for what we do. It will power us anywhere we want to go and take us places we would never reach without it!--
From Steve Goodier's book
PRESCRIPTION FOR PEACE
Thursday, July 26, 2007
I Love this post!
I love this post. I can't get to them here at work, but will continue to read them from your blog. I wish that I was more like that little bird and was able to live more like Jim preached on Sunday..."simple"! We complicate our lives way too much! Help me to learn how to fix this!!
Love ya, PK
Love ya, PK
Wednesday, July 25, 2007
How Appropriate Is This After Sunday's Message?!?!?!
A LITTLE BIRD TOLD ME
by Pamela Perry Blaine
"Oh, there you are, Jack," I said as I looked up from planting a geranium. "Where have you been? I haven't seen you for awhile and I was wondering about you," I said as I washed off my hands with the hose and dried them on a rag. I walked toward the bench to rest and visit with Jack for a while. I had left my tea and toast on the table next to the bench that I had brought out for breakfast.
"Care for some toast, Jack?" I asked as I offered to share with him. I knew that Jack loved almost any kind of bread and he did not hesitate to join me. He seemed to have a sixth sense when it came to knowing when I was having a bite to eat.
At any rate, once Jack finished his bread he was content to sit and listen to whatever I had to say with very little comment and he seemed to simply enjoy my company. He didn't appear to be a bit anxious about anything. It occurred to me that Jack seemed to have perfected the art of listening, which is something that a lot of people could learn from him. He just kept looking at me while moving his head now and then as if to show that he was paying attention.
I try to keep an eye on Jack because he was orphaned at an early age. Since I began looking out for him he has lived a fairly sheltered life. He doesn't really know about the threats that are out there in the world. After all, he is still just a teenager and has a lot to learn but like most teens he is very independent and doesn't think about the dangers that abound around him.
I had a nice conversation with Jack and I cautioned him once again about the perils that exist in his world but he continued to walk around the patio completely unconcerned until the dog came over and then he decided to join me on the bench again. Perhaps Jack is learning to be cautious after all, I thought. I've learned a lot from Jack, too. He just takes one day at a time and appears to be content to believe that all of his needs will be met. He trusts that there will always be something to eat one way or another, whether it's food he has to find himself or a bit of bread that is shared with him.
You see, Jack is a little bird. I rescued him from certain death when the cat discovered him under the propane tank. I took care of him until he had feathers and was old enough to fly. Now he flies wherever he wants and usually soars in for a landing on my outstretched hand whenever I call his name. He loves to splash in the homemade birdbath that I contrived from an old platter and some stones.
Jack has pretty much learned to make his own way in life now and manages to find food that is generously provided to him by our heavenly Father.
He doesn't worry about anything. Jack seems to have a good life. How do I know? A little bird told me.
by Pamela Perry Blaine
"Oh, there you are, Jack," I said as I looked up from planting a geranium. "Where have you been? I haven't seen you for awhile and I was wondering about you," I said as I washed off my hands with the hose and dried them on a rag. I walked toward the bench to rest and visit with Jack for a while. I had left my tea and toast on the table next to the bench that I had brought out for breakfast.
"Care for some toast, Jack?" I asked as I offered to share with him. I knew that Jack loved almost any kind of bread and he did not hesitate to join me. He seemed to have a sixth sense when it came to knowing when I was having a bite to eat.
At any rate, once Jack finished his bread he was content to sit and listen to whatever I had to say with very little comment and he seemed to simply enjoy my company. He didn't appear to be a bit anxious about anything. It occurred to me that Jack seemed to have perfected the art of listening, which is something that a lot of people could learn from him. He just kept looking at me while moving his head now and then as if to show that he was paying attention.
I try to keep an eye on Jack because he was orphaned at an early age. Since I began looking out for him he has lived a fairly sheltered life. He doesn't really know about the threats that are out there in the world. After all, he is still just a teenager and has a lot to learn but like most teens he is very independent and doesn't think about the dangers that abound around him.
I had a nice conversation with Jack and I cautioned him once again about the perils that exist in his world but he continued to walk around the patio completely unconcerned until the dog came over and then he decided to join me on the bench again. Perhaps Jack is learning to be cautious after all, I thought. I've learned a lot from Jack, too. He just takes one day at a time and appears to be content to believe that all of his needs will be met. He trusts that there will always be something to eat one way or another, whether it's food he has to find himself or a bit of bread that is shared with him.
You see, Jack is a little bird. I rescued him from certain death when the cat discovered him under the propane tank. I took care of him until he had feathers and was old enough to fly. Now he flies wherever he wants and usually soars in for a landing on my outstretched hand whenever I call his name. He loves to splash in the homemade birdbath that I contrived from an old platter and some stones.
Jack has pretty much learned to make his own way in life now and manages to find food that is generously provided to him by our heavenly Father.
He doesn't worry about anything. Jack seems to have a good life. How do I know? A little bird told me.
"Therefore I say to you, do not worry about your life,
what you will eat or what you will drink;
nor about your body, what you will put on.
Is not life more than food and the body more than clothing?
Look at the birds of the air, for they neither sow nor reap
nor gather into barns; yet your heavenly Father feeds them.
Are you not of more value than they?" Matthew 6:26
-- Pamela Perry Blaine
Thursday, July 19, 2007
No Great Talent
I really enjoyed this article from the LifeSupport Site--hope you do too!
NO GREAT TALENT
"I don't have any talent." You have certainly heard those words. You may have even said them yourself! And quite possibly, if you looked closely enough, you might discover that you are wrong. Mary Frye enjoyed writing poetry. She wasn't interested in publishing her poems, and occasionally she passed one on to a friend who could use a lift.
"I don't figure I have any great talent," the Baltimore, Maryland homemaker said. But many people would disagree. One of her poems, especially, has given hope and comfort to people who mourn for over 50 years. When a friend of hers lost someone close, Mary Frye jotted down a poem, which seemed to spring from her heart, and gave it to the grieving woman. That poem was later passed on to others, who, in turn, passed it on until it became an American classic. "If it helps one person through a hard time, I am amply paid," said Mary, who has received no remuneration for her uncopyrighted work. It has been used in countless funerals, translated and used in foreign lands and even incorporated into television drama. Here is her original text, which has moved so many for so long:
Do not stand at my grave and weep,
I am not there, I do not sleep.
I am in a thousand winds that blow,
I am the softly falling snow.
I am the gentle showers of rain,
I am the fields of ripening grain.
I am in the morning hush,
I am in the graceful rush
Of beautiful birds in circling flight,
I am the starshine of the night.
I am in the flowers that bloom,
I am in a quiet room,
I am the birds that sing,
I am in each lovely thing.
Do not stand at my grave and cry,
I am not there. I do not die.
How many people are finding strength and solace from a verse jotted by a woman who always professed she had no talent? And what if she had kept her poetry to herself? Don't be afraid to use the talents you do possess, it has been well advised. The woods would be very silent if only the birds with the sweetest songs were heard.
-- Steve Goodier
NO GREAT TALENT
"I don't have any talent." You have certainly heard those words. You may have even said them yourself! And quite possibly, if you looked closely enough, you might discover that you are wrong. Mary Frye enjoyed writing poetry. She wasn't interested in publishing her poems, and occasionally she passed one on to a friend who could use a lift.
"I don't figure I have any great talent," the Baltimore, Maryland homemaker said. But many people would disagree. One of her poems, especially, has given hope and comfort to people who mourn for over 50 years. When a friend of hers lost someone close, Mary Frye jotted down a poem, which seemed to spring from her heart, and gave it to the grieving woman. That poem was later passed on to others, who, in turn, passed it on until it became an American classic. "If it helps one person through a hard time, I am amply paid," said Mary, who has received no remuneration for her uncopyrighted work. It has been used in countless funerals, translated and used in foreign lands and even incorporated into television drama. Here is her original text, which has moved so many for so long:
Do not stand at my grave and weep,
I am not there, I do not sleep.
I am in a thousand winds that blow,
I am the softly falling snow.
I am the gentle showers of rain,
I am the fields of ripening grain.
I am in the morning hush,
I am in the graceful rush
Of beautiful birds in circling flight,
I am the starshine of the night.
I am in the flowers that bloom,
I am in a quiet room,
I am the birds that sing,
I am in each lovely thing.
Do not stand at my grave and cry,
I am not there. I do not die.
How many people are finding strength and solace from a verse jotted by a woman who always professed she had no talent? And what if she had kept her poetry to herself? Don't be afraid to use the talents you do possess, it has been well advised. The woods would be very silent if only the birds with the sweetest songs were heard.
-- Steve Goodier
Tuesday, July 17, 2007
Tuesday's Are Nice!
Had a nice lunch with daughter, Rae, and granddaughter, Abby at Great Wall today. Rae brought some wonderful gifts from her mission trip to Kenya and they were both talkative and happy!
Looking forward to dinner with my BBF&A, PK. Hope that we can arrange a definite time when we can get together each month, or even every other week?!?!?! Anyway, it's been a good day and I'm ready to shut down for the time being.
Talk to you tomorrow!
Looking forward to dinner with my BBF&A, PK. Hope that we can arrange a definite time when we can get together each month, or even every other week?!?!?! Anyway, it's been a good day and I'm ready to shut down for the time being.
Talk to you tomorrow!
Monday, July 16, 2007
From Today's Life Support Site
LIFE IS MEANT TO BE LIVED
Life is to be lived. No excuses. No reservations. No holding back. An enchanting story about violinist Fritz Kreisler tells how he once came across a beautiful instrument he wanted to acquire. When he finally raised the money for the violin, he returned to buy it and learned that it had already been sold to a collector.
He went to the new owner's home in order to try to persuade him to sell the violin. But the collector said it was one of his prized possessions and he could not let it go. The disappointed Kreisler turned to leave, but then asked a favor. "May I play the instrument once more before it is consigned to silence?"
Permission was granted and the great musician began to play. The violin sang out a quality of music so beautiful that the collector himself could only listen in wonderment. "I have no right to keep that to myself," he said after the musician finished. "The violin is yours, Mr. Kreisler. Take it into world, and let people hear it."
William Arthur Ward said, "If you believe in prayer, pray; if you believe in serving, serve; if you believe in giving, give." For you and I are exquisite violins -- our music is meant to be heard. I want to live my life that way -- to take it into the world and live it fully.
I'd rather burn out than rust out. I'd rather be used up than die not having done whatever I could...wherever I would. I'm not talking about wearing ourselves out on over-activity. Happiness is never found in excessive busyness. But it is found in investing our lives in others. Saying YES when asked for a hand. Volunteering some time for a worthwhile organization. Spending an hour with a lonely relative.
In the end, I know that my happiness will not have been about by my ability or my inability. It will have been about my availability. My life is meant to be lived.
-- Steve Goodier
Life is to be lived. No excuses. No reservations. No holding back. An enchanting story about violinist Fritz Kreisler tells how he once came across a beautiful instrument he wanted to acquire. When he finally raised the money for the violin, he returned to buy it and learned that it had already been sold to a collector.
He went to the new owner's home in order to try to persuade him to sell the violin. But the collector said it was one of his prized possessions and he could not let it go. The disappointed Kreisler turned to leave, but then asked a favor. "May I play the instrument once more before it is consigned to silence?"
Permission was granted and the great musician began to play. The violin sang out a quality of music so beautiful that the collector himself could only listen in wonderment. "I have no right to keep that to myself," he said after the musician finished. "The violin is yours, Mr. Kreisler. Take it into world, and let people hear it."
William Arthur Ward said, "If you believe in prayer, pray; if you believe in serving, serve; if you believe in giving, give." For you and I are exquisite violins -- our music is meant to be heard. I want to live my life that way -- to take it into the world and live it fully.
I'd rather burn out than rust out. I'd rather be used up than die not having done whatever I could...wherever I would. I'm not talking about wearing ourselves out on over-activity. Happiness is never found in excessive busyness. But it is found in investing our lives in others. Saying YES when asked for a hand. Volunteering some time for a worthwhile organization. Spending an hour with a lonely relative.
In the end, I know that my happiness will not have been about by my ability or my inability. It will have been about my availability. My life is meant to be lived.
-- Steve Goodier
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